- I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places – he told me to stop going to those places.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
- I was at the park wondering why this frisbee kept getting bigger… and then it hit me.
- Two fish in a tank, one looks at the other and says, "How do you drive this thing?"