1. Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked.  “It’s not unusual” he replied.
  2. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  3. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.