1. Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
2. What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
3. A grasshopper sits down at a bar. The bartender says, "We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, "Who names a drink 'Steve?'"
4. What's a balloon's least favorite type of music? Pop.