- A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8.30!” He replies. “Why? What happened at 8.30?”
- Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: “Gee, I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
- A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “I love you.”
“Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband.
“It’s me,” says the wife. “I'm talking to the wine.”
- A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
