As we appear to be emerging from the cocoon, laughter about staying indoors seems to be in short supply. So words of more general wisdom this week.
What is LEXOPHILIA - and is there a cure?
- VENISON FOR DINNER AGAIN? OH DEER!
- HOW DOES MOSES MAKE TEA? HEBREWS IT.
- ENGLAND HAS NO KIDNEY BANK, BUT IT DOES HAVE A LIVERPOOL.
- I TRIED TO CATCH SOME FOG, BUT I MIST.
- THEY TOLD ME I HAD TYPE-A BLOOD, BUT IT WAS A TYPO.
- I CHANGED MY IPOD'S NAME TO TITANIC. IT'S SYNCING NOW
- JOKES ABOUT GERMAN SAUSAGE ARE THE WURST.
- I KNOW A GUY WHO'S ADDICTED TO BRAKE FLUID, BUT HE SAYS HE CAN STOP ANY TIME.
- I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT TO SEE WHERE THE SUN WENT, AND THEN IT DAWNED
ON ME.
- THIS GIRL SAID SHE RECOGNIZED ME FROM THE VEGETARIAN CLUB, BUT I'D
NEVER MET HERBIVORE.
- WHEN CHEMISTS DIE, THEY BARIUM.
- I'M READING A BOOK ABOUT ANTI-GRAVITY. I JUST CAN'T PUT IT DOWN.
- I DID A THEATRICAL PERFORMANCE ABOUT PUNS. IT WAS A PLAY ON WORDS.
- WHY WERE THE INDIANS HERE FIRST? THEY HAD RESERVATIONS.
- I DIDN'T LIKE MY BEARD AT FIRST. THEN IT GREW ON ME.
- DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CROSS-EYED TEACHER WHO LOST HER JOB BECAUSE
SHE COULDN'T CONTROL HER PUPILS?
- WHEN YOU GET A BLADDER INFECTION, URINE TROUBLE.
- BROKEN PENCILS ARE POINTLESS.
- WHAT DO YOU CALL A DINOSAUR WITH AN EXTENSIVE VOCABULARY? A THESAURUS.
- VELCRO - WHAT A RIP OFF!