Two cows were standing in a field. “Have you heard that mad cow disease is going around?” asked the first. “Yeah,” the other cow replied. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
At a party, a woman admonished her husband, saying, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” He shrugged and answered, “Why should it? I keep telling them it’s for you.”
A man went to see his doctor, and the doctor said, “I have some bad news and some worse news.” The man asked for the bad news first, and the doctor replied, “You have only 24 hours to live.” Gutted, the man said, “That’s terrible! Wait a minute—what’s the worse news?” The doctor responded, “I should have told you yesterday.”
